I have received the gift of vetiver. It is an essential oil for ADHD and it works. My writings reflect this. I am calmer and able to stay "on task" as my elementary school teachers had so wanted from me as a child and in which I wanted from me as an adult. I recently went four days without it, by the fourth day it was truly noticable. Even I knew it. It was fun being the old Heidi for a little while, but she wasn't very productive. Ha!
Tomorrow is my first screenplay writer's meet up, I am pretty excited and hopeful for some answers on this query letter situation. I read that August is a month to not have any expectations and to not try and push any agenda. I have been following this advice from "the moon" and it has been exceptionally helpful. I truly believe that if the moon can control the ocean tides then it probably can have an effect on us as well. I believe God created all things to work together, so I am using all things in my journey. It is incredible. I don't feel like I am floundering in the ocean waiting for God to speak anymore. I am using the elements and nature to hear from him now. The universe is filled with his answers. I don't know why Christians feel that they have to stay away from these ways of learning and being guided. If God created it all then can't he speak through it all. That is a rhetorical question, meaning, I don't need or even want an answer, ha! I read a lot about new and wondrous things. I chew on what I read and then if it feels right I do it. I am open to new people and new philosophies. I am learning that people I once thought evil are not. I am learning that they have strong foundations and a love for their beliefs and traditions just as deeply rooted as mine once were. They are not evil, they are just trying to make it in this world like the rest of us. I am excited to learn as much as I can about everything the world has in store for me. Everyday it is like I have been granted a freedom pass into the unknown and I am fully on board with this adventure.
Another thing that I have done is remove people from my life who look down on me, who gossip about my life and think and say negative things about me or my family. I need uplifting. I think it is important to live in the light. To have people around you who add to the light and who can see gOOd things for your future. If all they have are dark things to say and think about you then it sticks to you like a magnet. Once I had finally severed this cord to their darkness my life became lighter. It became gentler. That big cloud of doom I was walking under was being fueled by people who unknowingly were adding more darkness and foreboding to it by using my life as a drama to unfold and play out like a great story to tell. Now that my life is hidden from the people with the flapping lips, it is quieter. Pleasant and protected. Protected by my silence. I notice a difference. The big cloud is shrinking and will one day be only a memory. I will use it as healing for others, as a way to speak light into their lives. It will do good, at last.
Today, my life is not exactly where I want it, but I am in love with it again and that is a very good thing. This. I. Know.
Embracing the good life,
Heidi L. Shepherd
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