Gosh, my life is just a continuum of ups and downs. Today alone went from extreme elation that I was finally going to get my rig back from the shop, to plummeting despair as the shop wouldn't take half of the amount and let me make payments on the other half. Then joyous happiness as one of my good friends paid the other half, to the downward spiral of sadness as I left the rig at the Fred Meyers because the battery had finally died for good and no money to get a new one, to instant relief when another friend volunteered to get the battery by tomorrow. And this is just ONE day in my life. This is constant. My youngest son said today that our life reminds him of a story in the Bible where the devil goes and tells God that the only reason why the man loved him was because God gave him everything he ever wanted. So, God let the devil do whatever he wanted, but not kill him or his wife. I immediately heard a voice rise up within me and say; "I will never curse God and die!", as I recalled the book of Job in which my young son was referring too. I don't know what God is doing in my life, but I do know that I have lost some faith in Him. After all I gave up and sacrificed for the sake of my marriage just to finally know I needed to walk away, I guess, subconsciously, my faith in the Lord weakened. I am now in faith boot camp. It is hard, the toughest thing I have ever done, but I am thankful I am surrounded by such amazing friends and family who let me whine and cry and just plain throw fits as I grow and stretch in new and old ways. I am also grateful that my Father is ever patient with me, although I do wish He would go ahead and pass me through to the "trusting with much" part of my life. ;) I hope this blog finds you well and blessed, if not and you too are enduring the painful struggles of just living, I pray for you. I pray you have incredible friends and family, I pray you can feel the Fathers arms around you! I pray you can see Him in your struggles...as I sometimes fail to do...I am still learning.
Click the below link to watch the video for this blog;
the Truth in Love,
Heidi L. Shepherd
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