Sometimes I get scared. Like out of no where this panic will
settle in on me. This panic is weird. Like an entity all of it’s own. It will
settle on me like a cloak or a shawl. I feel it immediately. I start to wonder if I made a mistake. I
start to worry, can I do this alone. Sometimes it takes my breath away. My
heart races and I want to run. I am not a runner…I am a fighter, but the
sensation to flee is instant and strong. This is when I hug myself, close my
eyes, and breath. I remind myself of all the yelling, all the name calling, all
the hurting. I begin to remind myself of the peace that awakens me in the
morning. I remember that I no longer need to fear the creaking of the
floorboards upstairs. I remind myself
that I am worth it. Soon the cloak, it begins to lift. My heart begins to beat
steady again. My breathing slows. I will be okay. God is with me. He has always
been with me. I was alone before. I can be alone again. This is not the end.
This is just the beginning.
the Truth in Love, Heidi Shepherd
http://youtu.be/VaVg0cWkgAw
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