Living with relatives can be a little like selling your soul to the devil. Almost three months ago I lost my job because I missed too many days due to a horrible toothache and our states horrible dental plan that I am on. The same day I was evicted, after my landlord said it would be okay if my boyfriend moved in, that he would work with us on getting him on the lease.
For three months we have been moving back and forth between two homes, when I say we I mean me, my boyfriend, and my two boys, because no one really has the room for us. Well, the one does, but that's where the fire-breathing dragon lives. We never know when she will rear her ugly head.
I had an incredible internship. I loved my job. I could see myself working somewhere like that forever, but it ended and even though I went on interview after interview I just couldn't get a job in that type of setting. I am sure if you read my other posts you will gather I left an abusive relationship after being with him for twenty-one years. Trying to get a job at my age is the worst. It doesn't matter that I look ten years younger than I am, it doesn't matter if I am qualified. I cannot get a job.
My boyfriend really is incredible! He suffered an injury about five years ago and continued to work the remainder of the five years. His back finally went out after another work-related injury and now he can do nothing. He is trying to get social security, but it is a lengthy process. He got a crapy lawyer and the workman's comp was denied. He is really in a bad situation. If it was just him I am sure he would be better off...but he loves us and we love him!
We are getting help through the state, but food doesn't a home make! It's funny, when I was working and living on my own we barely ate, now that we're homeless all we have is food!
I have two nieces who have decided to have both of their families live together so they can survive in this economy. I wish we had someone with room for us in their home and their heart. Someone who could sacrifice and share their home with us until life stops beating us about the head.
I have tried freelance writing, but it just doesn't cut it! I was getting ready to enroll into school when all this went down. I don't know what else to do. I get the interviews, but not the jobs. I am at my end here with all of this trying and when I just stop and try and let God be, I am told I am not trying hard enough.
My self-esteem seriously is so very damaged! I get sick to my stomach and have a panic attack whenever I get on craigslist.
If there is a light at the end of the tunnel I am sure it is attatched to a big ol' train!
the Truth in Love,
Heidi L. Shepherd
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